Do i really want a 3rd child. A resentful parent/spouse is toxic to a family.
Do i really want a 3rd child A third child will be a strain on your energy, your time, and your finances. Some couples decide that they want to pursue having a third child because they have two boys or two girls and they want a son or daughter to fulfill their family structure. I hoped for a girl but felt, firmly, that a third child, regardless of the sex, would make our family complete. I think there's several very rational reasons why I feel that way and we discussed them freely with each other. I'm 35, DH 36. (I think) 馃槶 Nov 1, 2018 路 I never wanted a 3rd but now the choose has been taken away from us, I feel incredibly sad that I will never be pregnant again or have another child. A subreddit for parents who have decided or had the decision made for them to only have one child. Jun 23, 2020 路 Lately I have been wrestling with the decision of whether I want a third baby/child/eventual adult. I will admit that I regret not having a third child when the time was right. We had our third child two years ago and the experience has been a little overwhelming. >>>Read: Falling Asleep Tips for the Sleep-Deprived Mother. I feel like I could’ve written your comment. Nov 10, 2022 路 “If you want to retire by 50 more than you want a second child, own it,” Olivia Christensen, who writes the column “For Love and Money” at Insider, told HuffPost. And finally, one came — one that had nothing to do with being right and everything to do with being happy. I’m worried number 3 will be hard also and I won’t be able to leave the house alone ever again. That fucks over you, your existing children, and the new child because yes, you will love that child, but you will also resent it and you will resent your wife for forcing you into it and because of that resentment you will STILL end up twice divorced but with one extra child in the mix and May 19, 2021 路 I mean, nothing can really prepare you for the lack of sleep. Not only do the number of hours most men work per week not change once they have kids, but the percentage of fathers taking up flexible working arrangements hasn’t really changed since 2008. BUT it is so crazy having 3. If you terminate that’s your Jul 30, 2020 路 You need to really want a 3rd child, no matter what he/she is - at least, that's how it is for us maria We have three boys and we love it. A resentful parent/spouse is toxic to a family. That generally isn't how I do things (haha) but I had to allow myself to accept what I honestly wanted and tell myself it is okay to want a third child even if it isn't practical and that I deserve the family I want. With my husband, the shoe is on the other foot--he wants a third and I DO NOT. I just turned off the light and closed my eyes. Also I am the 3rd if 4 kids and like to think 3rds are the most awesome lol. Having said all that my 3rd child is absolutely charming and was easy as a baby. I have 2 babies, a boy and a girl. Guides. If we don’t conceive in the next couple of months my oldest would be going into year 6 when my youngest was starting reception and I just don’t know if I can face Aug 7, 2024 路 When I was having my second child, I had many comments about do you want a girl etc. Do you want pregnancy or a child? Because sounds like you want to pawn off the kid on the nanny after you have it. You wouldn’t be replacing the child you didn’t have. Sep 4, 2020 路 I was like you, always wanted a 3rd (I'm one of 3), DH only wanted 2. If you are stressed now, a third is going to compound that stress. I have always said if I have a third, I would want to give birth before i am 40. My oldest is extremely difficult, baby 2 is much easier, but hasn’t slept through the night yet at 14 months and is a crazy daredevil. I am under no illusion that this is entirely my decision to make. I'm 28 weeks today and they want me to have the babies in 4 more weeks. You haven’t actually mentioned why you want a 3rd child. But I wouldn't have gone for a 3rd (and my Dh definitely wouldn't have) if I would have been disappointed with a boy. Because sitting in my lap right now is living proof that that CAN happen. Why making their life adapt to a baby life, if I don't have the baby I can spend all my time for their practices and activities, be there a when they need me. (now 10, 12, and 14) They're in school but evenings and weekends are super hard with all their activities and they rarely want to do the same things any more. I scoured parenting magazines in waiting rooms. He was adamant that he didn't. But I really really don’t. My husband says absolutely not! How can I convince him? I just keep thinking about it and really want another child but know that Other than “we’ve always wanted a big family!”, why do you want a third child? I don’t mean to be offensive, but it sounds like you guys are struggling right now. With my first two children, I read all the parenting books. I went through this myself. Jun 21, 2021 路 If you can do it, absolutely do it. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Kids are 8 and 5. We are young and healthy. You will heal faster and you will be nicer. Thinking about just my 2 boys grown up at Thanksgiving table, I feel a little sad. His reasons for not wanting a third are as follows: May 8, 2023 路 I want a third but my husband doesn’t. Dec 7, 2020 路 But really, you’d feel that way with one child. One more won't make such a big difference. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. This has been a decision I have battled withe for 2 years. Having a third child is emotionally fulfilling in a variety of ways. I am 46 and pregnant with my second. Am I crazy for thinking about having a third child? My husband and I are both late thirties and we have two kids (4 and 9 months). I married my husband because I love him and want to be with him forever regardless of whether we had children or not. Out eldest is 8 this year so in around 4 years time, which is when we would look at having another one, we feel it may be too disruptive for her and the age gap too big for them to bond well. it went something like this: pro = the joys associated with having another child; con = everything else making a near infinite list. I love my kids SO. Determined to get what she wanted, Fiona Drake reveals how forcing her husband into having Nov 26, 2019 路 I would like to have a third child, but my husband does not want to. I’ve had the struggle of a lifetime adapting to 2 kids but I attribute that a lot to my older child (3yo) being extremely destructive and wild, my younger child (1yo) being a level 10 clinger and screamer, and me being a person who is easily overwhelmed and likes things to go a certain way There are also a lot more logistical challenges in having another child - they outnumber you, for one thing. Jan 11, 2017 路 I've always wanted three anyway and ironically I'm much less bothered about my third baby (due April) being a girl than I was with number 2. Eventually they got divorced, and he went on to have three more children with his second wife. I can’t decide if we should try for a 3rd. Have a Routine. I don’t, but I do. I spent a long time thinking about the third child hence the bigger age gap. I have reservations about a third child. I happen to be a third child who didn’t have the easiest upbringing, so I’m a little spooked, despite how much I really want a 3rd. If we had a good family network to help out, I'm sure it would have been much easier, but as it is, this very busy stage he's at is not forever. I really wanted a third but I had a really hard pregnancy and birth with my second son, so we had some fears about trying again. Three children is the easiest transition you will ever make. Mar 23, 2009 路 I had 2 boys and then a girl. My first child is a boy, and I had no preference for my first. Many of the arguments above don't resonate with me : Middle child - I was a middle child and I was fine with it; Outnumbered - I already am Outnumbered as a single parent. I am stuck because I do really want a 3rd baby but I don't know if I want to do it knowing he's only agreeing to it for my benefit. On your death bed you won't think ' I'm glad I didn't have that 3rd baby now, how would they have afforded a house, it would have been really chaotic for a few years at the beginning etc' good luck OP and don't let Mumsnet sway you so much. I have no advice on how to make peace with the decision, perhaps it will come in time, but you're allowed to feel sad about it. She steadfast on having a third child now. Not until our youngest was a bit older and I had given up. : getting posted, or when we get old and pass away- my dad died when I was pretty young and it was an extremely lonely experience as my mother was estranged from him my Jul 27, 2018 路 “Should I have a third child?” is probably the #1 question asked by mums of two. It creates a kind of tide that moves in and out. With 3 boys I don’t? Maybe a twinge of sadness about no daughter. Oct 8, 2019 路 My husband doesn’t want to have another child and I do. Aug 5, 2010 路 However I am about 99. I know he would love the baby when it's here. Still, it was hard when the baby was born, I suspect my wife had ppd, she was very unhappy, and our relationship and especially the relationship to my parents took a big hit. Its been a complicated and high risk pregnancy. Read on to find out what life is like when you add a third baby to the Our kids are 2. I was talking to my best girlfriend, the one who always rationalizes things so effortlessly. And although I'm having ogida thinking of college expenses, I never for one second regret having a third child. It’s understandable to be conflicted. Last yellow newborn poops. While some mums have two kids and feel done and that’s that, many more are left wondering. We weren't trying for a boy though and would have been just as happy with a third girl - it's not really about gender. 5 years between the 2nd and 3rd. Another friend had a 3rd at 40, said in retrospect it was a mistake although of course loves the child. If the only reason had been that my husband didn’t want a third, I would definitely be resentful. Why does she want a third child so badly? Did you discuss family size prior to marriage? Jun 8, 2021 路 How did you decide whether or not to have a third child? Was it the right choice? I currently have a 5 year old and an 18 month old. We have two wonderful children, one girl (4) and one boy (2) and I have this uncontrollable urge to have another baby. So a 3rd would definitely affect our lifestyle but I don’t want these little luxuries to affect my decision. Her dad really wanted a third child (I suspect he really wanted a son) and mom didn't. She is only 31 and you are well under 40, and spacing is healthy. I’m 41 and have two amazing daughters in elementary school. I am 39yrs and haven't helped myself by putting a time pressure on myself (well biological clocks kind of make that unavoidable). These results are skewed by those people who, for whatever reason, have a disposition towards one sex. ” It’s a heartbreak that is up there with my miscarriage. Oct 21, 2019 路 So, a third child. I also love babies!!! At the end of the day though, it's not going to happen since he's Dec 15, 2008 路 I absolutley love staying home with my kids and I really want to have a baby. My wife and I are 33 have 5 & 3 year old girls, we both said that’s enough and are happy, recently we had unsafe sex and a week went by we thought she was pregnant, at first it was scary but we kind of got used to it talking names again laughing until we found out she wasn’t pregnant and we’re both kind of bummed out, we always hear - I . She said, “You do realize, there is no wrong decision here? Having a third baby will never be the wrong decision. If having a third is something you really want, do it! Goes to show it has a lot to do with the parents and kids personalities and how everyone gels together. Having your first child is eye-opening for sure but by the time you go through it the third time, things have changed. I totally want a 3rd but with hubby's mental health, it would put too much of a strain on our family. Obviously I’ve read all of the myriad mumsnet threads on whether to go for it or not. It's really hard. In my firends case, the older siblings absolutely adored and babied the little one. I view it like this: I would never want anyone to have a child forced upon them if they didn’t want one or have an unwanted child forced upon me. . Reply May 18, 2022 路 i don’t really want any after I turn 30, which gives me 2 years and I don’t want one that soon. Apr 28, 2016 路 3. After which you work out that the secret is never to have three kids together, too often. Apr 2, 2019 路 5. When she birthed the 10th child her divorce was final. This is something you have to work out to your mutual satisfaction. Mar 8, 2018 路 So, why have a third child? The truth is I can’t give you a logical reason to have a third child. "Having three was my destiny," says Rebecca. Feb 25, 2020 路 Baby Nicknames Short baby names are undeniably catchy; they cut to the chase while leaving a long-lasting impression. Jun 10, 2011 路 I would really love to have a 3rd child but am scared that I am 41. At least six months of transition. I did think about it through. Work the Schedule Right Sep 23, 2021 路 Ultimately if you are in a stable position to have one, and you really want one, do it. Mom denies it, but some days (I’m 35) I really do wonder if she actually wanted me (“if I didn’t want you, you wouldn’t be here” isn’t exactly “yes, I wanted a child”). A third child seems daring and unconventional. My wife has wanted a third for the past couple years. It’s ok to change what you’ve wanted to fit your life more now. I'm typing this from my inpatient hospital room with our 3rd and 4th child because that third turned into identical twins. It would be My kids are 8 and 6. No matter how much he has tried to convince me, I will not be swayed. All things equal, if I had a choice, I would want my next child to be a girl. Jan 6, 2013 路 the key is to only buy the really NECESSARY things. It is one thing to be patient with one other child, but two children require twice as much patience. We had our 3rd child when the 2nd was 7, so the older kids were quite self-sufficient. Your child will attend kindergarten. Jul 17, 2024 路 Hi all. I really want a third, and my husband really does not, and we are just deadlocked and it is so painful. I half-joke that I messed with the balance in the force with the third. I want the love, and the fun. I feel a bit selfish as I could have afforded another child, but my pregnancy was so horrific I just couldn't face being pregnant again. Sep 18, 2023 路 A 3rd child can really tip you over the edge in lots of ways …think about it everything in uk is set up for 2 parents and 2 children - most houses, cars, holiday packages and train seating. May 5, 2022 路 With a four-year-old and two-year-old at home, and my 30s coming to an end, my window to try for a third child was rapidly narrowing, while my indecisiveness was exponentially growing. After scheduling, my wife asked me to cancel because she wasn't 100% sure she didn't want any more kids, so I cancelled because, in my view, we both have to be fully committed one way or the other. She has very little support so going for the “third” made her life about ten times harder 馃槩. And children should be wanted, not This is difficult. She did it. I never felt like I was done having kids, but my husband feels otherwise. But she also has dreams of family travel, dialling back work etc She didn’t want to hear they it really comes down to money; but it kind of does doesn’t it? /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. You have bought shares in Dora and Disney and are the only reason you can afford the third child. I had even told him very honestly that if he really did not want a third, that was okay. I know that this is just a stage and will not last forever. 5 I never felt done after 2 but couldn't possibly cope with more than 2 kids when mine were little with mine being 1. I called the pediatrician over every single runny nose. we are definitely done with 2 but omg sometimes I desperately want a 3rd. I won’t make any promises here. It’s not like you’re missing out on motherhood. My mother had 10 of us. We have two lovely children (3 & 1 yo). there will be no little "accidents" here). Just like your first was, and just like your second was. Apr 26, 2021 路 The sad truth is that most people who reach out to me have struggled with this decision for 10, 15, 20 years. My husband and I are at a stand still about this. Parenting A Third Child Is Easier. Really work it in to your day daily for at least the first month. Mar 19, 2021 路 They won’t get any piercings until they are at least twelve. Only a half joke because it really feels that way. I am hurt that my husband does not want another child. The dynamics of the whole family are so much more complex with a third child. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. Am starting to think perhaps I want a 3rd. But wanted some perspective on my particular situation. I’m carrying on his legacy and my first born son will be the 3rd and carry the mantle for another generation. We had two boys spaced three and a half years apart. I never really got over not having a third and we had very good reasons beyond “the baby stage is hard. Ideally in a perfect world (and on good days) I want a third, but I could honestly do without a third simply because I am a stay at home dad and I’m literally the one doing 98% of the parenting all the time. it took a bit but after numerous discussions we finally decided we would make a list of pros and cons of having a third child. Its a more or less useless 3rd seat, and its still a pain in the ass to get the kids in. After all, the choice is yours. Its not a new thing, I've felt this way for 11 months. A child (as you know) is a huge responsibility and trying to force someone into it will only end in disaster. Between kumon and after school activities, we barely have time to do anything. Dec 20, 2016 路 I feel the opposite- I am an only child and feel that 1) another child would give our kids a bigger family to love and be there for each other when the going gets tough (i. I personally found 2-3 was the smoothest transition: the older two played together really well by then and were both in preschool at the time (then my oldest started school a couple months later), we knew what to expect by round 3 so it wasn't as overwhelming plus we had already done the transition /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Go to therapy, if not marriage counseling then for yourself. Then I’ll help you with deciding whether to have a third child or not. I don’t want to have a baby past 35. May 2, 2010 路 We're also skint, and really noticing the £500 each month in nursery fees and with the older 2 being 11 and 13 we find it hard to do things as a family, as they want different things. They each have roughly 3 years between them and my oldest was almost 6 when the third was born. The last one I had at 37 and my body felt it. Honestly I was just a happier person because there’s way less stress, the two kids would play with each other and I could do stuff on my own. I am early 30s so the risks shouldn't be too high either. 100% agree with everything you said. You won’t be the first nor the last who was the mother of multiple young children with no help from the dad. You basically just described us. I want to see the world through the eyes of someone seeing it for the first time. Both my husband and I would have liked to have a girl (and his mother had been pining for a girl since his brother wasn't one some 30 years ago). I want to show a small person how to navigate life, and I want us to learn how together. He very much wants… Being named after my father fills me with pride. Plus they grow up quickly. The lovely thing about short baby names is that the only thing they have in common is the number of letters they each have, giving you the flexibility of any of your favorite definitions in a neat package. Kids are awesome. My husband recently shared with me that he does not want another child. Dec 10, 2024 路 Friend went for a 3rd, hoping for a boy, and ended up with preemie twin boys, one of whom has learning disabilities. Also, I wonder if I’m so dead set on a 3rd because my first 2 are boys and I really don’t want to miss the experience of having a daughter. But in my heart, I still want a 3rd for some reason. I really don't want to raise a kid that's not related to either of us, but she's determined to have a third child even if that's what it takes. Nov 27, 2019 路 Life; Sex & Relationships; I pressurised my husband into having a third child – don’t do the same. My husband says he doesn't want a 3rd (he does have 2 kids from a previous marriage that he supports but does not see due to his ex-wife - but thats another story) so here I am with the desire to have another baby and he doesn't want one. Apr 17, 2020 路 Maybe I wanted closure. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left the royal family to live a more private life in the US, pursuing a different life than the one behind the palace walls. That was the oldest I would have waited before having a 3rd and the age gap would have been 3 or so years between middle and new baby. I defiantly don't Jun 4, 2024 路 However ,there are exceptions, I know a family who have gone through multiple miscarriages and stress trying to concede the third, and a family whose youngest child (third) was born with severe learning difficulties and needs 24/7 support and sadly in and out of hospital all the time. I think you should talk to your husband and really be open and honest about why you want the third. It is nice to know that you don't want them to feel that you are a burden, It means that you do really care for them and it might be something that they need (a loving child). We are undecided on having a third baby! For: we enjoy having a busy family, both of us like having kids; we have the space and should be able to afford a third with a bit more careful budgeting My oldest is 3, my youngest is 6mos and my husband’s vasectomy is scheduled for Feb. But then I'm reminded that I absolutely could not do the newborn stage again (the sleep deprivation is really hard on me), the first food fussy stage, and the stage I'm in now with my second kid ("terrible twos"), I am absolutely sure I could not do this again 馃槀 I am happy with the routine we have set Mar 22, 2023 路 For all the parents who have ever wondered, “should I have a third child?” this is for you. Last pregnancy. Archived post. It’s ok to not have a big family even if you’ve always wanted one. I always wanted many children (in my mind 4 kids was the ideal number) but we had agreed with my DH that 3 might be easier both time-wise and financially. Sometimes I still do but my 3rd is the absolute sweetest kid. Mar 29, 2021 路 By the time I have my 3rd my son will be 9 years and daughter will 7. But we were sort of kicking around the idea of a third several summers ago, just before my son turned four, just after my daughter had turned six. Feb 23, 2022 路 How do I know if I really want a third kid??? I have this super strong desire to have another one. The pilot or other suvs with 3rd row seats do not do a good job replacing minivans. Unfortunately, we do not have any family help nearby and we do both work full time. Others have done it. It got into a discussion quickly about her wanting a third. I can’t justify having a third child while maintaining social responsibility. This space is here to freely discuss and offer support for the specific challenges, unique parenting perspectives, and judgement we face from society or sometimes our own family because of our decision to only have one child. so, as the title says, I really want another child. Looking back, I really wish I had been ready earlier, as I would've preferred another 2. Some people don’t realize they’re ambivalent because they Jul 27, 2010 路 Even though I currently have three children, I was a lot like your sister. Good luck to you! Jan 9, 2023 路 Does one partner want more kids because they feel their biological clock is ticking? Do they feel pressure from family? Are they having trouble connecting to a child you already have? Do they not want to have kids because of financial stress, or because they are feeling overwhelmed, wanting some of that freedom they lost back? Jan 19, 2021 路 Having that third child takes you into uncomfortable territory that takes some getting used to. MUCH. Especially if there have been complications. 9% sure that I don't want a third child in reality, its just the odd bit of broodiness when I see a newborn I think. I wish I could offer advice, but if anything, I completely understand how you feel and you’re not alone. Wanting a boy or girl is perfectly fine. I wouldn’t do that, but I felt it was necessary to say to show how much I really do want another baby. Get physically and financially healthy, see what you need to do to even be open to a third child. I would strongly suggest that one or both of you get permanently sterilized so you don't have a third child you really don't want. Dec 8, 2024 路 Archie and Lilibet are growing up fast, but is it possible that the Sussexes will have a third child? Let’s find out what Harry and Meghan have said about it. I’ll first take you through the pros and cons of welcoming a third child. You have to have a 3rd child because you want a third child though. From my experience, adding a third child wasn’t really that much harder than having two. But at the end of the day, it was really more of an emotional and intuitive decision. The statistics are something like if you have 2 of the same sex you are 80% likely to have a 3rd. Triple your pleasure; triple your fun. I really do not envy parents with small kidsin fact, I kinda cringe when I see kids screeching now. we did not do a full blown nursery, no stroller since we babywear, cloth diaper(ed), breastfeed, BLW so no baby food expense, used lots of hand Aug 5, 2016 路 I had a really bad pregnancy and although I want to foster/adopt a child in the future I just don't want to carry another pregnancy to term, the last one destroyed me. I also feel like I have enough love to give a 3rd child. 5 years apart and although some of the early baby-toddler stages were difficult, my husband and I have finally decided that we're ready for a third child. There are a few things that I now realise (though its taken a while to get there). However, today she sat me down and told me that she really wants to have a third child. I never pictured myself with any children, and now I have 2, I'd like a third. Three seems a little reckless and exciting. I can go where I want, spend what I want and don't have to deal with little kids. Jul 27, 2010 路 I'm happily married with two girls: 6 and 4 years old. I have one child and it was a conscious decision based on wanting to provide the best education and quality of life, together with the knowledge that the planet is overpopulated and resources finite. That pains me to no end. I think part is due to the lock-downs and the home working, while homeschooling, and part is due to the character of our third child. My other kids are 11 and 4. Sometimes I really want to try for just one more kid but then I remind myself of how hard pregnancy and the baby stage was. This wasn’t a decision I even expected to be considering at this point in my life. We are stretched very thin financially because we live in a pricey area. Mar 22, 2012 路 I think you need to accept that your husband doesn't want another. I’m also an only child, so there’s a chance I’m projecting a bit, but her word isn’t as trustworthy as I took it to be in a not so distant past. On May 6, 2019, Harry and Meghan’s son Archie was born at The Portland Hospital in London. He is adamant about not wanting another one, to the point where A third child is a significant financial responsibility, not to mention the profound impact on the family as a whole. Especially if you have the child Bro the minivan is one of the best investments you will make. Apr 24, 2022 路 I have a lot of anxiety about a third child. That is, if I could even get pregnant again. It isn’t in and of itself a reason not to, but it is worth mentioning. but I just can’t figure out if it’s hormones or if I… Same here. It wouldn’t be cancelling out the decision you made. Labor & Delivery; Twins & Multiples; Baby Showers; Maternity Fashion; Tools Do we have time for our third child now?" I didn't have an answer for him right away. All kids are different, but our youngest has a very strong personality. Is Having a 3rd Child a Good Ideas? What it is Really Like: Feb 23, 2021 路 I needed the “right” answer. Oct 20, 2018 路 I have 3DD, there’s a 2 year gap between the older two and 3. So, we agreed for me to schedule a vasectomy, which I did. Something else to think about would be how your kiddos feel. I want a third child, my husband does not. My husband is 42, and doesn’t want another child. We can afford another child. Our children never really struggled much when we added our third baby and I believe part of that has to do with the fact that we stuck to a fairly consistent routine throughout it all. Now i have 1 kid but my sister has 3 and she told me how hard it was to go from 2 kids to 3 for the reasons i mentioned …. We are in a very strong financial position, money is not an issue. We had always been planning on a family of 4, but I know her dream was always to have a bigger family. Jul 11, 2022 路 I have two and want a third. an unwanted child you dont have capacity for will do more damage to your life than not getting to have 3+, it feels like having a child you dont want is a greater sacrifice than not having a third. I don't think they are seeing you as a burden knowing how concerned you are to your parents but they might actually see you as a motivation for them to work hard and keep NTA. I have this (irrational?) fear that something will be wrong with a future child. while working on it we actually chuckled a few times about how the decision still My oldest THRIVES with one-on-one time - it's really necessary for her well-being. I really want a third child but my husband is against the idea. Also I disagree, but understand if you think it’s lazy. It hasn't really gotten easier either. 5-3 year age gap, but now, our 2nd and 3rd children would be close to 4 years apart. Do you really want to have a baby that your husband is saying he doesn’t want? Just because he came into money doesn’t mean he can handle more children. I was more relaxed with DD3 as a baby, she just slotted in, but then I found it easier when they were all smaller. " Another mom I know so desperately wanted a third that she made a deal with her husband. With 3 it’s more intense and constant simply because there is no down time in between things to be worried about. Knowing that there is another baby frozen on ice would make me feel the same way. But I want to be a voice of reason in the sea of people who’ll warn you that having a third May 24, 2023 路 Having another child can be really difficult if you do not have enough support. One will have a cavity, one will be starting school, one won’t be eating properly, the list is really endless. What you’re describing is exactly how I felt. This brings flashbacks to a really good friend of mine in jr high school. As someone who had an accidental second pregnancy that was surprisingly twins, I want you to think long and hard about the possibility of not really being thrilled about a third child and then having it be a third and a fourth child. I have 2 healthy kids, 2 healthy pregnancies so no miscarriages before. May 24, 2021 路 Every household is different, and while it might not be ideal for some, yours might have a blast having a third kid on the way. I really like the idea of 3 boys, and can't really imagine having a girl now. I did not think I could do this but I am going to. He said he had made his mind up and that 2 children was the perfect number. I want to share new experiences with them, I want to support the heck out of whatever they're into. More than anything, a third child seems doable. “No one, least of all the baby, will be happy with a parent who is resentful over spoiled dreams,” she added. Feb 23, 2011 路 I am sobbing as I am typing this. But I do. You desperately want a second or fifth child, but your significant other is dead set against it. I want to see my husband be a father. Maybe you should talk your thoughts through with your partner especially as age is not on your side and you will need to get on with things if you should decide on a third (sorry, very blunt there). But the nurturing instinct keeps calling, and it’s growing stronger each day, and you’re asking what to do when I want another baby, but my husband doesn’t. And boys destroy everything. After two healthy and happy babies I don't know if I even can have a third baby. When I think about all the reasons, I definitely do want a larger family. I have even gone as far as to fantasize about leaving and finding someone who does want another child. And allow him to do the same on why not. We've had many discussions lately and ultimately he has said if it's something I really want he would do it but it's not something he wants. Others want to have another baby because it fulfills them deeply on an emotional level. I confirmed yesterday I'm pregnant with an unplanned 3rd and unfortunately my husband is completely against it for multiple reasons: fewer opportunities to offer our children, division of attention between siblings, the diamond effect (one child often feeling left-out), less personal and travel time for our family, pressure on our finances Sep 28, 2018 路 After our second child was born, I mentioned to my husband that I would really love a third. But I don’t. Take a couples vacation and see how she likes that freedom. Do not, under any circumstances, have a third to "try for a boy". We are in our early 30’s and have 2 healthy, beautiful children aged 2 and 6 months. In my heart I really, really want a 3rd. But it is certainly not a deal breaker and I would love my child just as much regardless of his or her gender. The thing is, I’m not sure if I’d be devastated because I want a larger family, or if I want a daughter specifically. We are starting to travel more and it’s been great to have this freedom again since we traveled almost monthly prior to kids. I feel like I am changing their life quality. Do I want a girl, or do I want to be pregnant again for nine months, with the mood swings, and the contractions, and the belly and weight gain for any child? No. When you have a third child, you’ll need a bigger car and a lot more snacks, and you’ll be rewarded with more love and wild adventures. My husband and I both come from families of two kids, so for us, two had always felt like enough. His reasons are extremely and almost unbearably practical - and undeniably a third child costs more than stopping at two, and although obviously for many this isn’t the only factor by any means, for him it is. I think you should really listen to your husband. But while children inherently add more challenges, they also make life unmeasurably richer. My first is almost 23! I have 6 horses, 7 dogs, 4 cats, and chickens and commute 3 hours a day total for work. husband didn't really want more but wasn't careful either. You can do it if that’s what you want to do. DO NOT HAVE A CHILD THAT YOU DO NOT WANT. Apr 9, 2024 路 That’s why, after welcoming my second child, a boy, just a little over six months ago, I was very surprised by the fact that I was already thinking about a third child. Jan 29, 2024 路 Calling all parents with 3 children for advice! A little of bit of background story. And I think my husband is hesitant partly because we both want a little girl and would probably be disappointed if we had a 3rd boy and he feels some guilt around that. Now my eldest is 13 I would say it is harder. You really have to do what is best for you. A third baby would allow me to savor all the lasts in a way I hadn’t with my daughter. Oct 29, 2009 路 This was actually quite sweet and really made me sit up and think about the prospect, in real terms, of having a third child. No support from family and the ultimate nail in the head - I 100% do not want a third child. As with the birth of any royal child, it was a monumental occasion – but Harry and Meghan decided to May 6, 2013 路 But anyway and besides all that - if you are financially stable then those financial circumstances - hotel rooms, airfare, etc, is really very trivial compared to the enormity and joy of another child. My husband did not want a third. We have a 2 y/o & 4 y/o and my wife wants a third. e. In only a few years my eldest will be 10 and able to do many things on his own. Last birth. We’re in our mid-30s, so we don’t really have a lot of time to wait. You know tbh I would think it’s a massive pressure to have a 3rd child with the very big age gaps you’d have even if both parents were on board. A third child was something I NEVER would have even thought about, but here I am, just a little over six months postpartum and I have to admit, I’m thinking a third child Sep 19, 2024 路 You've settled into a routine with your first child, and now the little voice in your head is asking, “Should I have a second child? Or third? Or 6th?” You may even wonder, “Why do I want another baby?” or "Do I really want a baby or is it hormones?" Oct 12, 2024 路 I’m 36 and really don’t want to be having a baby when I’m 40, though I absolutely have no judgement of those who do, I just already feel old as it is in terms of my body. I am a feminist. We are both in our late 30’s and have 2 DS age 4 & 8. 5 years apart, and my husband became ill with a life threatening disease when the kids were 1 and 2. That I should just enjoy this phase where they are finally sleeping through the night and going to school full time. Truly, it feels like a loss to not have that third child I wanted. My wife is a CPA and she works all the time too. I just wanted to say you’re not alone. Every time we say that to someone we’re immediately met with a horrified look and some story about how two was perfect and then their lives were ruined by a third. Have 3, really really really miss my time with 2 kids. Dec 18, 2016 路 Wants a Third writes, I am writing to ask for advice on how to accept that my husband doesn’t want more children and I do. I have a honda odyssey and i went from a german luxury car to that after my 3rd kid was born. Jan 23, 2012 路 I really want another one, but my husband thinks I'm crazy. DS coming up to 3, DD 9mo. 5 (he is now in great health and illness isn't something that can return) Oct 28, 2022 路 It really will make a difference if your children can do a few more things without so much help from you. Dec 16, 2019 路 Not bring a child into the world which the father doesn’t even want. Apr 28, 2021 路 If you’re on the fence or don’t really want a third child once you put some thought into it, it might be best to not have another little one. Maybe because I come from a family of 3, and I love the dynamic. I knew that if I really really badgered him he would have agreed but I decided to leave a few years and see how I felt when I was 38. Having one less child per family is more effective at reducing carbon emissions than pretty much every other action put together (going car-less, vegetarian, having green Home etc). Firstly, no child should be brought into the world without being 100% wanted by both parents (i. I was okay with a third. But when the third row comes up you are shit out of luck for storage especially if your kid is less than 18 months old and you have to use the big stroller that relines properly so the kid can sleep and you need that enormous baby bag with a week's supply of nappies and wet wipes and changes of clothes etc. Sep 24, 2007 路 Am only just feeling as if I am getting my life back now after 2 years - everything seems to be a complete muddle and for some reason seem to have much more washing, cooking etc to do which doesn't really make sense. While you’ve tried everything to convince them, they aren’t budging. I didn't really have a preference to start with but after loosing 3 pregnancies, I thanked the lord every day for that baby. It is amazing. We didn't have much of a discussion about it. Life is really nice in your 40s when you're managing with older kids and have your life to yourself. But will I regret not having a third when I’m in my 40s and feel too old for it My husband and I want a 3rd. 5 and I have been fighting the desire to have a third child since they were 4 and 5. You take a list of all the drugs you want when you are in hospital and look forward to your time in there because you won’t have to cook for anyone. But to call naming your child after yourself “one of the most selfish things a parent can do” is VERY over dramatic. pshmtnvvofgaktonchjvsytjxgbvafvpnkvpupcfyxtrvbuktialv